Secrets.

The following passage is taken from a fictional book entitled; 'The Big Book of Lies' with a subtitle that reads 'Ted Danson can breathe under water -and a number of other facts that are completely untrue.'

"Did you know that Lynne Foran can run the 100m in under 11 seconds -but only in the nip!"

"Yeah i heard that somewhere alright -never seen her do it though"

"What about Ben Mullen..."

"What about him?"

"two stomachs!"

"Jesus."

"And here listen to this, Caromy, is the sole living heiress to Tony Quinn's 'educo-gym' empire"

"Get the fuck...."

"Yep....

...John was born in a shell, Ruth had a brief but passionate affair with Brenda Fricker, Eoin Murphy speaks Klingon, fuckin fluently."

"What sort of cvnts...."

"Robin Grundy is the illegitimate love child of Leonard Cohen and bucket of sand, Rudden can only read backwards, Dave is half man half trout -the trout part is below the waist and Deco had trials at London Irish rugby club but was sent home cause he was shite."

"...[long pause]..."

"Treasa swam the English channel to raise awareness of the threat of cholera in developing countries."

"Fair play to her."

db.